The Lonely Book by Meg Grehan

Author:Meg Grehan [MEG GREGAN]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781915071415
Publisher: Little Island Books
Published: 2023-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

I am confident

I am

Sometimes

When people see me go

Quiet

Or see me get a little

Panicked

They think I must be

Quiet

All the time

That I must be scared

All the time

But I’m not

I know myself

And what I’m capable of

Sometimes

Things are just

A little harder

Is all

But I do my breathing exercises

And I practise my sign language

And I talk to my family when I’m down or scared or anxious

And I see a therapist

Miss Kate

Every week

And I know

I know

I’ll be

OK

Miss Kate

Says she is

Proud of me

That I’m dealing well

With the change of pace

Change of routine

That summer brought

Sometimes

That’s hard for me

I wish I could tell her about the book and the shop and the magic

But I know I can’t

I know she wouldn’t believe me

I know it would make her worry

I know my family wouldn’t be happy

So I don’t say

Anything

It’s hard

Trying to be honest about everything

While having to keep secrets

But I try

I talk about seeing Mum take the big book

With the euros on the cover

I talk about what I think that means

I talk about how much that scares me

How much I love the way our life is right now

How I don’t want it to change

I feel

A little

Lighter

Afterwards

Looser

Relieved

A little less

Weighed down

Still

I feel

A little

Like I’ve betrayed Mum

Telling her secret to someone

But Miss Kate says

This is my space

My time

That I can say

Whatever I need to say

That it’s safe and OK

Miss Kate says it’s important

Not to carry things around

Not to fill myself up with worries

That I need

To get it all out

She reminds me

That I’m a kid

I’m the kid

I shouldn’t be anxious about

Adult things

Adult matters

Adult stresses

It isn’t my responsibility

It isn’t for me to fix

But I can’t help it

I’m still a little

Worried

About Mum

About the shop

About the future

Miss Kate says I should trust

Mum

Trust that she’s an adult

She’s the adult

That she knows what she’s doing

That she can fix this

Without me

But Miss Kate

Didn’t see her face

Didn’t hear her sighs

I know she’s right

I know Mum

Is the grown-up

But what if she can’t

What if she can’t?

Mama takes me for hot chocolate

After my therapy session

We sit in our favourite coffee shop

And we dunk our marshmallows

Under the whipped cream

And we laugh at our milk moustaches

‘How was your session?’

Mama asks when we’ve stopped giggling

I sigh

‘It was OK’

I tell her

‘Miss Kate says I worry too much’

‘What are you worried about?’

But I can’t tell her

I can’t tell her about Mum

The big book

The shop

I can’t tell her I’m scared we’ll lose

Everything

And I couldn’t tell Miss Kate about the mystery book

So I can’t say that either

‘Charlotte’

I say

Because it might not be my truest truth

But it’s pretty far from a lie

‘Me too’

Mama smiles sadly

‘But I know Charlotte

I know how strong

How resilient

How capable

She is

I know

I know

That whatever Charlotte is going through

Whatever Charlotte is working through

Right now

She can get through it

I know

I know

Charlotte

I know

I know

Charlotte will be OK’

And for the first time

Hearing Mama’s words

Hearing how sure they are

Seeing her smile

Feeling her holding my hand

I feel like

Everything else

Will be OK

Too

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.